The fundamental attribution error references a researched psychological tendency to mentally internalize another person's behavior as a personal or dispositional flaw, rather than accounting for situational factors.
When I first learned about this in class, the example involved road rage. If someone drives crazy, your first thought may be, "That person is a jerk!" or "Re-take drivers ed, you nimwit!" or "You don't care about others' safety! You're selfish!"
We are inclined to jump straight to blaming the person's personality as a whole. We are not taught to explore the nuances of possible situational factors that could be at play. What if that person was racing to the hospital to see their dying loved one for the last time? What if their pregnant loved one was in the passenger seat and actively in labor? What if they were distracted after a particularly bad day? Yet, the research demonstrates that we are inclined to extend grace to ourselves for external factors that contributed to the situation.
My favorite personal example comes from when I was waiting tables. A new employee told the manager that I was glaring at her, and my manager confronted me about it after the shift. I was shocked. I really liked the new employee and didn't want her to feel that way. She just happened to observe what I call 'my thinking face' when I was stressing and thinking during the rush of that shift. While serving, you always need to look around to see what's happening and what needs to be done. She caught my stressed 'thinking face' and thought, "SHE'S MEAN." "Why does she have a problem with me?"
Fast forward: She's now my neighbor and friend. We have keys to each other's place. I adored her then, I adore her now! We laugh about how she thought I was a mean-spirited person for "glaring at her." It was just the fundamental attribution error roaring its nasty little head. Girl, I was just in the zone thinking, "That table wants more ranch, that table needs to be bussed, etc etc etc."
Discerning whether to give a person grace due to situational factors, or whether it's a true characteristic trait, is no easy task. That's precisely where therapy can assist you in exploring interpersonal dynamics. If possible, that's also where effective communication helps. (You obviously can't talk to someone in a road rage situation, though ha!) It just isn't always what you think. Our thoughts lead us astray sometimes.
Bonus.. You might just end up with a good friend if you work through it.
As an aside, I'm laughing because I looked up content to further educate after writing this entry. This video uses the road rage example as well. Yall, we can talk about it in session if you have road rage! Hehe be safe out there. Much love! xxx
https://youtu.be/Y8IcYSrcaaA